Mixed
by midori tsuki
Summary: [AU] What's Cloud to do when he's completely broke? Obviously, crossdress and become a hostess!
1. Hostess

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games.

Note: I've never done an Alternate Universe fanfic before… This is what happens when you mix cold med, cartoons, and Girl Scout cookies… Oh, and I'd expect this will be very… odd?

* * *

**Mixed**  
**_01: Hostess_**

"You want me to do _what_?" My thin mouth twitched slightly.

Pressing a finger to my lips, I'm silenced. "First, a young lady shouldn't yell."

"—I wasn'—"

"Cloud, we _need_ the money." Her brown-red eyes widen and grow wetter.

"Not the puppy dog look!" I sigh and hang my arms down. "Isn't there _anything_ else I could do? Delivery boy, lackey, male prostitute, _anything_!"

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, we have to do this… A dress is better than starving, right?"

I groan at my boots.

The universe hates me.

* * *

She looks us up and down and up again. Every moment feels like an eternity in hell… Her steel-blue eyes feel like they're burning a hole into me.

She can tell, can't she?

This 'Scarlet-mama' must see I'm a guy… I'm going to be killed.

"Okay… You two start tonight."

Mouth drops. "Say what?"

Tifa wraps her arms about my shoulders. "We've been hired as hostesses, Clo-dia…"

Scarlet moves her weight on to one hip. Something tells me that she _wants_ us to see her thong… Most likely to drive me to gouge my own eyes out. "JESSIE! AERITH!"

Two brunette girls enter. One, her hair in a ponytail, mumbles profanities as she walks towards us.

"Yes, Mama?" Green eyes dance with merriment.

Scarlet waved her hands towards us. "Aerith, these are Tifa and Claudia. Can you show them around?"

"Certainly, Mama."

Scarlet turns her head towards the cursing brunette. "Jessie, why don't you look for something _decent_, for them to wear?"

She looks myself and Tifa up and down. "Brunette could fit some of your things, _Mama_…. Blonde, though…" She digs into her pocket, pulling out a roll of measuring tape.

Before I can move, she's on the floor between my legs. "EEP!" I jump back before she finishes measuring my in-seam.

She looks up and raises an eyebrow at me. "Little Sister _Claudia_, you need to let me measure you… Otherwise you won't have a nice dress to wear for your first day. And you won't want to see the ugly ones…"

"No one mentioned that I needed a new dress!"

Scarlet narrowed her eyes at the four of us. "Fine. Aerith, show Miss Tifa around; Tifa can fill Claudia on the details latter…" Scarlet dipped her hand down her breasts, revealing a wad of cash. "Jessie, take Claudia shopping." She extended the cash towards the profane brunette.

'Jessie' slowly took the money from Scarlet's hand, amber eyes burning with disgust.

* * *

Walking down the street, I can't help feeling like everyone is staring at me.

"So, _Claudia_, what's your real name," Jessie questioned.

I could feel myself blush. "H-how did you…?"

She raised her arm, tapping her throat. "We'll have to get you a chocker or something…"

"D-do you think Scarlett—er, Mama—knows?"

Small pink lips smirked at me. "Most likely… Surprised she didn't just send you to off to a place that 'specializes' in this sort of thing…" She waved at me. "Suppose she thought you'd be worth it."

"Oh… She must be nice."

Laughter, and a snort, erupted from her. "Scarlet cares about two things: sex and money. You're personal benefit has nothing to do with it."

"Cloud."

She stopped walking to look at me. " 'Cloud?' "

"… That's my name."

"Interesting." A smirk spread across her face. She claps her hands together. "Got it!"

A delicate hand wrapped itself around my wrist, and I found myself being pulled down the street. "Whoa! Where are we going?"

"You'll see!" She calls as she continues her mad pace.

Left turn.

Dodge a woman.

Jump over a bench.

Right turn.

She stops from her insane speed only to have me collide into her. "GET OFF ME!"

"It's your fault," I mumble as I stand up.

I lower my hand to assist her, only for her to stand up on her own.

I stare at the building before us…. Besides the burned bricks, there's nothing I can really say about it. "Where are we?"

She tilts her head and smiles. "You'll see!"

She swings open the wooden front door, a bell chiming as she enters. I slowly follow her into the dimly-lit building. Sweet-smelling smoke fills my nostrils.

"Hello… Oh, it's just you," a voice like the dead says. I turn towards the noise to find someone hidden in shadow reading a book. The only things I can see of him are burning red eyes… Weird.

"Yeah, 'hi' to you too, Jerk… I'm taking that screw-up you made me."

His eyes narrow, but he doesn't turn his attention from his ancient book. "It won't fit your anorexic shape."

"Yes, but it'll fit _her _quite nicely." She points her thumb towards me.

His ruby eyes leave his book to focus on me.

I gulp at his invisible face.

"So it would…" He closes his novel and sets it on a table. He rises in a single movement, his face finally entering the sunlight.

"HOLY SHIT! HE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL!"

"Excuse me?"

"I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

Magically, he was now directly next to me. "Yes. Yes, you did."

A swift hand bats the feminine man's head. "Cool it," Jessie growls, "Vince. No reason to scare her."

He rolls his eyes, and mumbles a "it's Vincent" before disappearing upstairs.

* * *

"I feel like such a whore," I grumble at Tifa. 

"Oh, but you look so cute, Claudia!" Her arms wrap around my waist in a squeeze.

"I'm dressed as a maid-fetish…"

"So? We're going to be able to pay our rent after tonight! Besides, it can't be all that bad…"

I glare at my best friend.

I'm a guy… In a dress… As a hostess…

Although, the breeze is quite refreshing….

* * *

Think I need help? Can't stop laughing/squealing about Cloud in a dress? 

_Possible futures: yakuza, karate, gaijin, cops, Shinto, school…_


	2. Liquor

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games.

* * *

**Mixed**  
_**02: Liquor**_

"You need to be careful," one of my new 'sisters' whispers as she places a fresh bottle of rum on the table. Her emerald eyes, playful as ever, never leave my 'client's eyes. "Would you like anything else, Mr. Hojo?"

His disgusting gaze traced my 'sister's pink cat costume. "No, Miss Aerith." He patted my hands. "This little darling will be just fine." Must resist urge to vomit.

Aerith wanders back to the bar, purposefully tilting her hips as she walked. Something about the movement makes me angry and disgusted at the world… Odd…

"So, Sweetheart, what do you think about Shinra?"

I tilt my head at this Hojo creature. "Shinra? Isn't that a music company?"

His worm-like lips spread into a grin. "True… But, there's a whole 'nother side to 'em… Knew you must be new here." Yes, because the whole not being here isn't a big enough clue.

"… Suppose I should let Scarlet tell you…"

I plaster a smile on my face. "Oh, but Mr. Hojo! Mama would never tell me such _naughty_ things!"

Memo to self: ritual suicide is better than dating dirty old men.

He laughs a rough, scratchy noise. "Well, I don't know why such a pretty thing like you would want to hear such evil things here…"

I open my mouth to turn him down, only to find Jessie sitting in that _pervert_'s lap! "Oh, Hojo Darling!" Her finger plays along his chin. "You're not planning naughty things with my Little Sister, are you?"

He straightens the collar on his shirt, making no effort to remove Jessie from his lap. "Oh, you know me too well…"

"Yes, I do." She leans close to him whispers into his wrinkled ear.

Hojo's eyes widen at me, and I can't help turning white under the pressure. What could Jessie be saying?

After Jessie finishes her silent conversation, she lifts herself up. "Will you be needing anything else, Sir?"

"No, Jessica… Tell Scarlet I understand."

Leaving, Jessie blinks a single amber eye at me.

Weird.

Hojo stays silent, tapping his fingers together. "Interesting… Very interesting…" He takes a swig from the rum bottle. He stands, bows at me and bids a, "goodnight, Princess."

He manages to walk easily to the exit, despite the alcohol in his veins. Impressive… for a pervert.

Tifa slides into the chair across from me. "I thought he'd _never_ leave!" How is it this was her idea and I'm the one doing all the work? "Although, Aerith says I'm a great bartender!"

I'm about to be molested and she's mixing drinks.

The universe must truly hate me.

"Now what do we have here?" I turn my head to the obnoxious voice to find a red head and a bald man at the entrance. They were swaggering towards us…

I resist the urge to jump into 'protect Tifa' mode as the sit beside us in the little booth.

"So… aren't you pretty?"

So I've been told… all damn night.

* * *

Draped over my shoulders, Tifa must be a strange sight. The elevator is out _again_, leaving me to carry her up nine flights of stairs. At the third floor, I started wondering what the consequences would be to suggest that she go on a diet… 

At the fourth floor, I decided I like peeing standing up.

'Sixth floor' was painted on the wall.

I'm really glad most people aren't awake at three am.

"CLOUD!"

Of course that wouldn't include _her_.

She bounces towards us, as if she had caffeine in her veins.

"Hi, Yuffie."

"YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

We really should get tranquilizers for her… "Shouldn't you be in bed?" Or at least in your apartment.

I continue up the stairs, only for her giggling form to follow us. "Tifa shouldn't be drinkin' you know!"

Tell me about it.

"And she'd be so jealous if she realized how much prettier you are!"

God? Strike me dead, if you don't mind… This hell-witch will just not leave me alone…

She leaps in front of me blocking my ascent. "I even heard that girls like you—"

"—Despite popular belief I _am_ a guy—"

"—have been disappearing left and right!"

"Nice to know." I push my way past her. Tifa lets out a slight groan.

"I heard its cause that singer—oh, what's his name—has a _thing_ for blondes!"

What the fuck…? Never mind. "Night, Yuffie."

Climbing the last of the stairs, it was quiet. I set Tifa on the ground. I reach for my pocket, only to realize that I'm still in a dress... And no longer have my pants.

Looking at Tifa, I can't help wondering where I got such bad karma… I kneel down, and reach towards her skirt.

Only to be hit in the face with that left hook of hers. "Go ar'y… I srweepy…."

I wiggle my nose trying to get the feeling back to no avail.

I take hold of her hand, and attempt to reach her purse once more. My fingers clasp it and pull it from her sleeping body.

I unzip the small black bag and reveal her keys. I stand and unlock our apartment door. I squat down once more to lift Tifa up.

With her in my arms, I carry her towards the bedroom. I kick the door open, revealing the tiny bed and the poster-lined walls. I lay her on the bed gently and begin to pull off her boots. My eyes scan the images of Pop Idols.

Silver hair, brunet, blond… All feminine looking… Or at least androgynous…

I throw her boots onto the floor, and begin to wrap her in the blankets. She settles into the pillow with a purr.

I stumble back into the entryway and deadbolt our apartment door. Not even bothering to remove this stupid, frilly dress, I fall onto the

* * *

Think I need help? Can't stop laughing/squealing about Cloud in a dress? 

Maid-Cloud/Claudia dolls to AnimeDutchess, Aimme, LethalDuckie, Jenniyah, need name, and Duskmon Kimura for writing reviews.


	3. Shower

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games.

Notes: I'll be honest… I seriously doubt I'll keep up with this pace…

* * *

**Mixed**  
**_03: Shower_**

"_CLAUDE! TIFA!"_ Wha—?

I force my eyes to open. Who the fuck would be awake at—I glare at the VCR—2 o'clock in the afternoon? Bastards… I push myself off the couch. Opening my mouth, I can't help wondering if I ate part of the throw pillow late night.

"_OPEN UP! IT'S AN EMERGANCY!"_

I undo the dead bolt and glare at whoever decided to annoy me. Pink, pink, and more pink assaulted my eyes as whoever it is jumps towards me. "Claudia," the voice squeals, "I need your help! I have a date today, but Jess won't let me use the shower!"

She releases me from her grip and bounds inside the apartment. "Oh this is cute!" She bounces from odd place to odd place. She pauses at a photo, and puts her hand to it. "This your brother, Claudia?"

I stare at the image of myself she holds up. I open and close my mouth, but no words come out…

"So, where's your Girlfriend?"

…

"Still asleep, huh? Well, I'll just go steal the shower then…"

She ran into the bathroom, slamming the door. Within moments, the sound of the shower echoes from within.

… Okay, what just happened?

Girl shows up—Aerith?—to steal my shower.

Girl seems to be under the impression I'm female…

And a lesbian with Tifa…

Something tells me this day is just going to get worse.

* * *

"_HEY, CLAUDIA!" _Now what?

"_Can you get me a towel?"_

… Okay…

I enter Tifa's bedroom, and head towards the closet. I toss a glance at the sleeping, drooling form. "Why is she dressed like a highschooler?" I mumble. "Never mind; I don't want to know."

I pull a towel out of the only closet our apartment has and marched back to the bathroom. I crack open the door, and shove the green towel forward. "Come on in, Claudia; I can't quite reach it."

God? Am I dead?

Cause I'm not sure if this is heaven or hell…

I push the door open… And slam my eyes shut.

I am not a pervert… I am not a pervert… I am not a pervert…

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Aerith twirls her pink sundress about. "Cute, huh?"

"Uh, yeah…" She looks like a little girl. "So, who are you going out with?"

She smiles sweetly at me, a twinkle in her eye. "Sadly, just a client… My boyfriend's busy with work."

Say what? "We _date_ them too?"

"Oh? No one told you?" The only thing people tell me is that I look 'cute.'

I shake my head.

"Oh…" She taps her finger against her cheek. "Well, we can go on dates with clients… Pays much better… Plus, we get to go to really nice restaurants!"

I am so glad I don't date her…

She leans close, inches from my face. "But there's one rule." She waves a finger in front of my nose. "_Never_ accept gifts; only cash."

"O… kay?"

She leans in and kisses my cheek. "Wish me luck!" She bounces towards the door. "Oh, and don't forget to change for tonight!" She waves as she leaves the apartment.

… I have to get _another_ fetish-dress?

* * *

Think I need help? Can't stop laughing/squealing about Cloud in a dress?

_And first bonus story… Because the world should know the consequences of physical contact with Hojo…_

* * *

**Bonus Story One**  
_**Jessie needs a shower**_

Jessie blinks a single amber eye, a smile plastered on her face. As she moves out of sight of the patrons, her smile morphs into a grimace. "Disgusting Hojo," she grumbles.

Walking down the narrow hallway, she stops before the red-dress Scarlet. "Told him the message, Mama… Now, I'll be getting cleaned up."

Scarlet's eyes follow the brunette's form as it climbs the stairs. On the second level, the amber-eyed girl begins to unbutton her nurse outfit. With the last button undone, she throws her dress onto the hallway floor, uncaring to who would need to deal with it.

She kicks open the bathroom door roughly. She plops onto the edge of the bathtub, and turns on the faucet. Not caring what temperature the water was at, she begins to unzip her boots.

Finally unclothed, she dips her body into the freezing water and takes hold of a rag. She dips it into the bath water, and presses it against her skin. "Must get clean…"

* * *

"_Jessie,"_ Aerith's voice penetrates into the bathroom, _"are you done in there? I kinda need to get cleaned up for a date…"_

The brunette's skin had become wrinkly and red from a night of scrubbing. "Still not clean…"

"_Jessie, are you okay?"_ The door handle was jiggled to no avail.

"STILL NOT CLEAN!"


	4. Devils and Angels

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games.

Notes: This just writes itself… Also, if you're not familiar with me, I don't do pairings…

* * *

**Mixed**  
**_04: Devils and Angels_**

I push Tifa's stiff form, trying to get her to wake. So far, I've only managed to get drool on my hand. "TIFA! WAKE UP!"

Growl.

"Fine, stay in bed!"

… I'm starting to sound like a girl… "I think I'll go kill myself now…"

" 'upid emo-boy," Tifa mumbles in her sleep. She grumbles before forcing her eyes open. "Cloud?" She blinks at me, yawns, and then stares. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"IT WAS YOUR FUCKIN' IDEA!"

"Huh?" She rubs her eyes, realization slowly dawning on her face. "Holy shit! What time is it?"

"Oh, quarter to three… We're suppose to have new—"

"_HONEY, I'M HOME!" _Yuffie jumps into the bedroom, tackling me into a hug.

"—outfits." How the hell does she do that?

Tifa rubs her temples. "Yuf, how many times do we have to go over this? You _don't_ live here…"

"Aww." I'll give Yuffie credit; she knows how to pout. "And I was _so_ sweet bringing you new dresses…"

I raise my eyebrow. "What's the catch…?"

"Oh, nothing much…" She begins to exit. "Just let me take pictures and post them on my blog…" She smirks at us with a wink.

"HELL NO!"

"Oh, Cloud-y-kens! I wasn't going to say it was you!" She skips down the hall.

I tilt my head towards Tifa. "Well?"

She shrugs as she rises from the bed. "Got nothing to loose…"

"Except our dignity," I grumble.

We walk into the living room and stop dead. There's Yuffie holding a pair of micro-dresses. An angel and a devil…

With wings…

And wands…

I should go hit myself.

"Okay, Cloud, you first." She shoves the smutty angel costume towards me. I take the fabric gently. "And these!" She passes a pair of thigh-highs at me. "And let's not forget the shoes!" Yuffie loops a pair of heels upon my only free finger.

I stare at the pile of—can these really be called clothes?—stuff in my hands. "Uh…"

"Go on!" Yuffie spins me around, points me in the direction of the bathroom, and slaps my butt to urge me forward.

I feel violated.

I scramble into the bathroom. Locking the door with a solid 'click,' I breathe a sigh of relief.

Setting the 'garments' on the counter, I turn on the sink faucet. I splash water on my face, half-hopping this nightmare would end.

No luck.

I strip the black opera gloves from my arms, revealing muscle. I unfasten the frilly collar from my neck. Untying the ribbon on my left side, my form expands. My fingers clumsily unzip the back, finally freeing me from the 'dress.'

I sit down on the toilet seat, and without ceremony yank my stockings off. Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. What did I do to deserve this?

I shudder as I dig through the shreds of fabric… Great, pantyhose… I hold them up, trying to figure out how I'm getting these on… Something tells me that they weren't designed with boxers in mind…

* * *

"Of course there would be a cross…" I fiddle with the clasp, trying to get it on. Looking at my reflection, I know I'm going to hell.

"_SQUEE!"_

What the fuck? That sounded like Tifa…

"_HOW DID YOU _GET_ THESE?"_

Against better judgment, I open the bathroom door. Tifa dances in the living room with some scrap of paper.

"Do I even _want_ to know what you two are doing?"

Tifa stops her revelry, and I suddenly wish I hadn't left the bathroom.

She's dressed as a devil.

And there isn't much left to the imagination.

I feel so dirty…

"YUFFIE GOT ME SEFIROSU TICKETS!"

"Who?"

Both girls stare at me in disbelief. "WHO?" They ask simultaneously.

Yuffie glares. "He's only the hottest, coolest, most awesome singer on the planet!"

"Take your word on it."

Tifa shakes her head in dismay. "Cloud… You're not going to pass as a girl with an attitude like that."

"Whatever."

Stomping to the bedroom, Tifa looks determined.

Returning, she demands, "Look at this!"

She holds up a poster proudly. A silver-haired pretty-boy graces the paper. He's wearing some kind of bondage-fetish thing as he sings into a microphone. 'Sephiroth' is printed in jade green letters at the bottom of the page. "Looks like a male hooker."

"CLOUD!" Yuffie whines… Loudly.

"Fine… He's 'a way totally rad Baldwin.' " Yeah, I have no idea what I just said.

"You can only use the following terms in reference to Him: godly, god-like, awesome, awe inspiring, best, beautiful, handsome, coolest, hottest, drool-worthy, sexy, smexy…"

I should just stay quiet.

* * *

Think I need help? Can't stop laughing/squealing about Cloud in a dress? Write me a review… _You know you want to… Okay, maybe you don't, but…_

Devil Tifa and Angel Cloud/ Claudia dolls to Aimme (times 2), Jenniyah, AnimeDutchess, Duskmon Kimura, LethalDuckie, and scarlettHuntress for writing reviews._ Yep, pair set. Woo-hoo!_


	5. Hustle

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games…

Notes: I also do not own "Love Like Winter" (AFI does). For one week ('till 2.27), I'll have a link to a music sample on my profile… I do not endorse downloading illegally, but I can't guarantee everyone knows what I'm talking about…

Just so we're clear. I declare trademarks on "**KaraokeBurlesque**," "**karaokeburlesque**" "**Karaoke-Burlesque**," and "**karaoke-burlesque**." If you want to know why, well, you just have to keep waiting (insert evil laughter from no where). _Also, yes, you can just say "I have the trademark on X phrase" and make it true, assuming the phrase isn't "common language." _

* * *

**Mixed**  
**_05: Hustle_**

"Welcome to Scarlet's!"

I lean over to whisper, "Tif, am I drunk?"

Only to get a punch in the arm as an answer.

Standing before me were two blonde twins in jester outfits… Very hot blonde twins… They can't possibly be real.

Two sets of eyes (one blue, one gold) blink in unison. "You must be—"

"—the new girls."

Blue eyes tilts her small chin. "She's a little… tall, isn't she?"

Gold eyes tilts her head in the opposite direction. "Maybe a little…"

… I must have died…

Although, I didn't expect Hell to be this… Then again, being a hostess may very well be the cruelest thing I can think of… Except maybe having to listen to Sefi—I'm going to throw up—rosu.

_/Flashback/_

"GOT IT!" Yuffie jumps up and down, waving a CD case.

I raise an eyebrow at the hyperactive wannabe ninja (I've tried explaining that there aren't any ninja's anymore, but she doesn't believe me.).

She leaps in a single bound to my stereo, popping the disc in.

And, oh, the horrors that came out…

_Warn your warmth to turn away.  
Here it's December every day (I like that).  
Press your lips to the sculptures  
and surely you'll stay (Love like winter)  
for of sugar and ice, I am made, I am made. _

It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
He wanted love. I taste of blood.  
He bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before.

She exhales vanilla lace.  
I barely dreamt her yesterday, yesterday.  
Read the lines in the mirror  
through the lipstick trace "Por Siempre".  
She said, "it seems you're somewhere far away" to his face.

It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
She wanted love. I taste of blood,  
She bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before.

Love like winter, oh, oh...  
Love like winter, winter... 3,4

It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
He wanted love. I taste of blood.  
He bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before.

_/End/_

… Yeah, I'm going to have nightmares because of that… Creepy lyrics…

"—So, what did you guys have planned for the show Friday?"

"Huh?" I look at the blue eyed girl… What happened to the other one?

Nudging me, Tifa growls, "We're suppose to practice for a _special_ performance."

"I DID NOT AGREE TO HAVE SEX!"

"Are you high?"

* * *

… Six percent of people reviewed. I'm going to go cry… Or kill someone… One or the other…

_And, yes, I do know that Elena and (Gun Female) aren't twins… But those sisters look creepily similar; except the eyes…_

Otaku Yuffie dolls to AnimeDutchess, Aimme, LethalDuckie, and ladyaymie for writing reviews.

_Sekihan ("red rice") is rice steamed with red azuki beans. Common celebratory rice dish._

* * *

**Bonus Story Two**

_**Aerith's Date**_  
"Good evening, President," Aerith smiled sweetly at the older man sitting at the table. Pulling out her seat, she leaned down giving a fair view of her—ahem—figure. "Have you had a nice day?"

"Not until I saw your lovely face."

Delicate hand rising to cover a false laugh hides the bile rising in the brunette's mouth. "Oh, President Shinra! You flatter me so."

"My sweet, I have a proposal for you."

An emotional mask falls upon her fair skin. "Oh?" Yet, emerald eyes betray disgust.

The balding, wrinkled, round man cups the lady's hand in his. "I would like you."

Eyelids graced with long lashes blink. "Pardon?"

"Please, become my bride…"

Manicured fingertips glide effortlessly from callused claws. "I am sorry… I cannot."

Rising to leave, she is stopped by the president's paw upon her arm. "No, wait… Come have sekihan with me."

"What would we be celebrating?"


	6. University

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games…

Notes: TA: "teaching assistant" (i.e. slaves to PhD professors)… _See? I'm not dead… Cloud gets an entire episode in pants! Yay, pants!_

* * *

**Mixed**   
**06: University**

I drag my exhausted body into the chemistry lab. Plopping onto a stool, I lay my head against the cool countertop. I close my eyes, enjoying the brief moments of piece.

"I wouldn't sleep on that, yo."

Aw, hell. "What is it, Reno? More importantly, will you #$ off."

"Maybe later, _Princess_." My eyes fly open, as I scramble to sit up right.

And fall onto the cement floor.

"W-w-what did you say?"

The red-head bursts into laughter. He slowly lifts my stool up, setting it upright. "You should see the look on your face!" He grabs my hand, and pulls me to my feet. "So, you gonna tell me what this 'princess' nickname of yours is about?"

I glare at him, shaking his hand off. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's not what I've heard." He taps a finger against his chin.

I glare, as I return to my seat. "What are you implying?"

The door slams open as a teaching assistant rushes in. "Sorry I'm late. Let's get to work."

* * *

A hand waves at me from the opposite side of the field. I can't see, but I know who it is. Strolling leisurely, I can't help wondering why I have to lug my damn textbooks all over campus. Honestly, the professors and TAs at least have offices to dump their #$& off at. 

I drop my bag on the grass field, as my friend munches on a sandwich. "Hey, Zack, what's up?"

He grins up at me. "Got a gig for Saturday. I even swung a pass for you."

"Yes, because _obviously_ I want to spend Saturday watching Black Meteor." Honestly, what kind of a #$&ed name is that?

"Pwease, Cloud." Oh, God… Not the puppy-dog eyes…

"Fine. But so help me if you get #$&$-faced and hit on me. _Again_."

He rubs the back of his head, a grin plastered on his face. "I won't be drinking… Besides, my girlfriend's going to be there."

I raise my eyebrow. "Girlfriend? Who the #$& would date you?"

"Hey! She's really nice, and sweet…" He stares up towards the sky, a dreamy look in his eyes. "Her name's even angelic: Aerith."

I could feel the color drain from my face. That's not possible. "W-wh-where did you meet her?"

His grin expands to cover half his face. "Jealous, Cloud? I bet Tifa's good at—"

"ZACK!" I rub the bridge between my eyes. I've had four hours of sleep, have been irritated by Reno, and just failed my Chinese Civilization exam. I don't deserve this.

* * *

I take a nice, out of the way seat in the back of the 500-seat lecture hall. A flash of green catches my attention. Towards the front, a young brunette sits, reading a newspaper. She… kinda looks like Jessie. 

Nah, couldn't be.

A man, dressed in white, walks down the stairs, his head turned towards her. He looks out of place; must be a business-school student. He stops in front of her, but she makes no acknowledgement.

He rips the newspaper out of her hand, before taking a seat next to her.

… Couldn't be Jessie.

Just like that _couldn't_ be the playboy heir to the Shinra Company.

* * *

Review if you actually want to know what in the hell Scarlet has the girls and Cloud do on Fridays… Or if you want to see Zack's band and girlfriend.

… _Should I raise the rating? I'm not sure…_

LethalDuckie, Hajime Morikawa, Aimme, AnimeDutchess, and Daenis TooShy get Prince Reno plushies for reviewing. _Feel free to turn him into a princess though._


	7. KaraokeBurlesque

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games…

Notes: The rating has been moved to M, due to sexually explicit content (and so I can cuss more without the '$&' nonsense).

Once again, I do not own the following songs:  
"Makes Me Wonder" (Maroon 5)  
"Marlene on the Wall" (Suzanne Vega)  
Links to samples will be available on my profile for one week (5.22). _You never realize how fucked up the lyrics are until you look at them._

* * *

**Mixed**  
**07: KaraokeBurlesque**

Tifa drug me by the wrist as we meander the streets. Still don't know why we have to go God-knows where after class. Honestly, it's two o'clock in the afternoon, how many perverts need to see me in a lacy skirt. Suppose it's better than that S&M thing Aerith and Elena were wearing the yesterday.

'Spank me,' she said. I can't help shivering at the thought.

"You okay?" Tifa's eyes were wide with concern. "You've been shivering since we got here."

"Oh, sorry." I stare at the brick building before us. A rundown theatre? Why does it look familiar…?

She stalks down the side, entering a narrow ally. I follow slowly, dreading the horrors Scarlet has planned.

Now I know where I am.

This is where—what's his name—Vincent works.

The door creaks open as we enter. At least there's brighter in here… Although, that may not be an improvement: this is most definitely a sex shop. And I don't even want to know what I'm wearing today.

"Put this on." Scarlet waves a pair of thong panties in front of my eyes.

I rub the back of my head. "… Why? I'm already wearing panties."

She shakes her head. "These aren't panties. It's a gaff."

I tilt my head to the side. "A gaff?"

"_Yes_… VINCENT!"

Slinking out of the shadows, the brunet gives a slight growl. He's gotta be hot in that turtleneck. "Yes, Madam?"

"Help Cloud into these." He passively takes the shred of garment, and moves behind me. His hand grips my shoulder, as he pushes me towards the back.

We come to a door.

I open it, revealing a small changing room.

Closing the door, he slumps against it, stopping any chance of escape. "Okay, first you need to tuck your testicles." 

"TUCK THEM WHERE?!"

* * *

"… So." Tifa tilts her head, a grin on her face. "How does it feel?" Her attention was wholly on my now flat crotch. 

"My eyes are up here." I point towards my face. "… And it's surprisingly comfortable." Even though I have absolutely no idea how to use the bathroom.

A garment fell onto my head. "Put that on," Vincent's emotionless voice commands. He's probably still pissed about the 'girl' comment.

"Why? It's not like we're going to be doing anything for the next few hours."

Without moving, he was at my side, whispering in my ear. "You'll look prettier." I felt heat rushing into my cheeks.

I swung about, but he had vanished. "… Bastard," I mumble.

Tifa giggles at me. "What'd he say?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Looking into the audience, my mouth dropped. Sitting at small dinner tables, the usual businessmen intermingled with young heirs. And WOMEN! There's women in the audience—holy shit. 

Bouncing in her chair, Yuffie chatted with a man old enough to be her father. "That isn't—"

"Yuffie?" Tifa leans to look past my shoulder. "… Well, I guess that explains the tickets."

I wince slightly. "What tickets?"

"She managed to get backstage tix to Sephiroth's concert tomorrow."

Thank God I'm going to be at Zack's gig until late.

I don't want to come home to them singing that shit.

* * *

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Scarlet announces, "Welcome to the Red Room." 

If her dress wasn't so shiny, I'm pretty sure I could see her tits. This is the first time I actually appreciate spotlights.

"And, why waste time with idle talk? Let's get started."

The lights are turned off, only to be turned on again. A bed sits in the middle of the stage, an unknown body lying in it. And the music starts.

Blond A—Elena?—sits up in the bed, hair disheveled. She crawls out of bed, revealing an oversized T-shirt and a pair of boxers. She walks to a dresser topped with a mirror. She checks her reflection as she begins to sing:

_I wake up with blood-shot eyes.  
Struggled to memorize,  
the way it felt between your thighs.  
Pleasure that made you cry.  
_

She goes behind the mirror, throwing her shirt and boxers out so the audience can see them. Wrapping herself about the prop, she emerges in a set of men's shirt and blue jeans, all the while singing:

_Feels so good to be bad  
not worth the aftermath, after that  
after that  
try to get you back._

Tifa walks on stage, dropping a box of odds and ends. 'Deadbeat bastard' is written on the side in red. Elena moves over, taking hold of Tifa's waist, only to be pushed away.

_I still don't have the reason,  
and you don't have the time  
and it really makes me wonder  
if I ever gave a fuck about you.  
_

Glaring at her partner, Tifa continues the song:

_Give me something to believe in  
cause I don't believe in you anymore,  
anymore.  
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try  
so this is goodbye._

With a determined slap, Tifa leaves the pain stricken Elena on stage.

Then, the bed covers move as Aerith stretches, a pitiful camisole protecting her from lustful gazes. She sits upright, watching as the blonde begins to sing again:

_Got them resting in my head  
decisions that made my bed.  
Now I must lay in it  
and deal with things I left unsaid._

Jumping onto the bed, the blonde smothers the brunette. And Aerith continue the song:

_I want to dive into you.  
Forget what you're going through.  
I get behind, make your move.  
Forget about the truth.  
_

Only for Elena to push her away, a hurt look crossing the brunette's pale face. Elena hangs her head to begin the song's bridge once more:

_I still don't have the reason  
and you don't have the time  
and it really makes me wonder  
if I ever gave a fuck about you.  
_

Dressed identical to Elena, her blonde twin emerges from behind the mirror, disgust resonates as she glares and sings:

_Give me something to believe in,  
Cause I don't believe in you anymore  
anymore.  
I wonder if it even makes a difference,  
it even makes a difference to try  
_

Elena turns her head up, tears glitter under the light. Only to continue the verse:

_And it's over, hurt the feeling  
but I don't believe it's true anymore  
anymore.  
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry,  
so this is goodbye_

Elena stands, disappears behind the mirror. Aerith vanishes beneath the sheets as the bed lowers itself through a trap door. Remerging onto the stage, Tifa looks adorable in a summer dress.

The blonde looks as if she's apologizing…

_I've been here before.  
One day a week  
and it won't hurt anymore._

Only for that summer dress to be pushed upwards as the two grope one another. As the blond kisses Tifa's neck, a very pissed-off Aerith walks on stage. Lifting her head up, the blond remarks:

_You caught me in a lie.  
I have no alibi.  
The word is set on how to mean me,   
Cause…_

_I still don't have the reason  
and you don't have the time  
and it really makes me wonder  
if I ever gave a fuck about you.  
and I... And so this is goodbye._

Tifa pushes the blonde away, and moves beside Aerith. In unison, they sing:

_Give me something to believe in  
cause I don't believe in you anymore,  
anymore.  
_

_I wonder if it even makes a difference,  
it even makes a difference to try.  
And it's over, hurt the feeling,  
but I don't believe it's true anymore,  
anymore  
_

_I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry.  
So this is goodbye.  
So this is goodbye, yeah.  
So this is goodbye, yeah._

_So this is goodbye, yeah._

… Why couldn't I be a man? It's not fair.

Lights off.

* * *

Lights on. 

A parlor…?

How did they manage to change the scenery so quickly?

Standing in the center of the stage, Elena pretends to dust. Her back is to the audience, but she seems to take notice and turn about…

That French maid costume leaves little to the imagination. "Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?" Elena grins cheekily.

The audience murmurs to itself, but no one seems to know the answer.

The blonde tilts her head, a playful smile gracing her lips. She leans over, giving a nice view of her ta-tas. "Because those men already have boyfriends!"

* * *

… And now it's my turn. Goody. 

I position myself on the tiny leather chair draping one leg over the chair's arm, Trying to get this so called 'skirt' to stop going over my hips, I know why Vincent insisted that I wear a gaff… Everyone is going to see my garter. And my ridiculously frilly panties.

I know Scarlet is sitting upon the pseudo-fireplace, waiting as I wait. The lights return and I hear the music wafting from sights unseen. Jessie, wearing a brown, tweed suit stalks onto the stage, determination across her pseudo-male features.

She pulls me up, over the chair by the front of my dress. She begins to kiss me, but I push her away. Oh, how I wish I hadn't. Scarlet is in her underwear.

Her lacy panties and bra…

With nothing else on.

Sweet G—aw, shit, my cue!

_Even if I am in love with you  
All this to say, what's it to you?  
Observe the blood, the rose tattoo  
Of the fingerprints on me from you._

Jessie steps forward, trying to get my attention once more. She holds my arms as I continue.

_Other evidence has shown  
That you and I are still alone  
We skirt around the danger zone  
And don't talk about it later_

We settle out of view behind the chair, Jessie throwing her jacket towards the center of the stage. Jessie grabs hold of my petticoat, relieving me of a layer of clothing. It lands upon the chair.

Meanwhile, Scarlet has stood up, and begun putting on a slip.

_Marlene watches from the wall  
Her mocking smile says it all  
As she records the rise and fall  
Of every soldier passing  
_

I stand upright as Scarlet returns to her mantel seat.

_But the only soldier now is me  
I'm fighting things I cannot see  
I think it's called my destiny  
That I am changing_

Waving my arm towards the 'fireplace,' I sing, "_Marlene on the wall_."

Jessie stands up, her blue dress shirt perfectly pressed. And takes hold of my hand, as the pair of us walk.

The lights turn off, only to return in a dim, blue form. The stage is obscured, so that I can't see even the leather chair or Scarlet anymore.

_Well, I walk to your house in the afternoon  
By the butcher shop with the sawdust strewn_  
"_Don't give away the goods too soon"  
Is what she might have told me_

The brunette grabs my arm, twisting me into her embrace.

_And I tried so hard to resist  
When you held me in your handsome fist  
And reminded me of the night we kissed  
And of why I should be leaving _

She begins to unfasten the back of my dress, slowly unveiling my back to the audience. I can't help shivering. We kneel together onto the wooden floor, as Scarlet stands once more.

_Marlene watches from the wall  
Her mocking smile says it all  
As she records the rise and fall  
Of every soldier passing _

She steps into a dress, and pulls it up. Wow, that doesn't even have slits in it. It's almost matronly.

_But the only soldier now is me  
I'm fighting things I cannot see  
I think it's called my destiny  
That I am changing_

_Marlene on the wall.  
_  
Magically, Jessie's pants and shoes have disappeared. Why didn't I see her…?

_Marlene watches from the wall  
Her mocking smile says it all  
As she records the rise and fall  
Of every soldier passing_

Scarlet puts on a ring of pearls.

Jessie rips the remainder of my dress… And I was planning on using that for work Monday. Damn.

_But the only soldier now is me  
I'm fighting things I cannot see  
I think it's called my destiny  
That I am changing  
_

A flurry of fabric and Scarlet has a cloak over her shoulders.

_Marlene on the wall_

Seriously, what's the point of wearing a dress, if I'm just going to be undressed on stage? Nimble fingers unfasten the bra strap on my back.

_And even if I am in love with you  
All this to say, what's it to you?  
Observe the blood, the rose tattoo  
Of the fingerprints on me from you  
_

Jessie pulls her own blouse off, not even bothering with the buttons. All the while, trailing a line of kisses down my neck.

_Other evidence has shown  
That you and I are still alone  
We skirt around the danger zone  
And don't talk about it later  
_

She pushes me onto the ground, keeping both of our chests from view. Her hips begin to thrust, causing the audience to gasp at the scene.

_And I tried so hard to resist  
When you held me in your handsome fist  
And reminded me of the night we kissed  
And of why I should be leaving_

Scarlet pulls her cloak's hood over her face. Under the blue lights and dark clothes, my blonde boss becomes invisible.

_Marlene watches from the wall  
Her mocking smile says it all  
As she records the rise and fall  
Of every man who's been here  
_

Jessie slinks off of me, disappearing into the shadows.

The lights turn off, only to return in golden hues. Scarlet slinks over the chair where I had been, and Jessie has vanished from the stage.

I sit up, keeping my back from the audience.

_But the only one here now is me  
I'm fighting things I cannot see  
I think it's called my destiny  
That I am changing  
changing, changing, changing, changing  
_

My arms cross across my chest, a flush across my face. I look ever the blushing bride as I stand up.

_Marlene watches from the wall  
Her mocking smile says it all  
As she records the rise and fall  
Of every soldier passing  
_  
I walk to the mantel and sit in Scarlet's former spot.

_But the only soldier now is me  
I'm fighting things I cannot see  
I think it's called my destiny  
That I am changing_

I begin to lower my arms, but keep my hands over my fake breasts.

_Marlene on the wall_

I drop my hands as the lights turn off.

Rushing offstage, I stumble over someone.

"Watch where you're going," a man hisses.

Stupid Vincent.

* * *

And we're back to the parlor. 

Baby doll-dressed Aerith stands beneath the spotlight, oblivious to her see-through garment.

The brunette tilts her head, licking her oversized lollypop with her eyes closed.

Her green eyes fly open, and she stops her licking to recite a limerick:

_There was a young lady named Lou,  
Who said as the parson withdrew—_  
"_Now the vicar is quicker,  
And thicker, and slicker,  
And two inches longer than you!"_

… This is going to be a _really_ long night.

* * *

Please review. I need the attention. ;-; 

… _Wow… How many fetishes were in _that?

Wen, Hajime Morikawa, and Aimme get Baby-doll Dress Aerith plushies for reviewing… _Although, feel free to trade her outfit in for the S&M or__some _actual_ clothes._


	8. Sunshine and Rainbows

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games… I do not own "I'm Too Sexy" (Right Said Fred does).

Notes: … Why is it when I write longer chapters, I get less reviews? Honestly, I've met pseudo-hippies that manage to get more work done.

* * *

**Mixed**  
**08: Sunshine and Rainbows**

Beep-beep-beep-_beep_-BEEP-BEEP—

Blindly slapping at the end table, I turn the alarm clock off.

… It's Saturday.

Why is that thing even on?

Whatever.

Pushing myself off, my bed, I can't help seeing the dark spot on my pillow. I really need to work on this drooling thing.

Rubbing the back of my head, I stand up and wander towards the bathroom.

_Slam_.

… I really hope Tifa didn't wake up… She's mean if I wake her up on weekends…

Why does she always put the toilet seat down?

It's not that much work to look before she sits down.

* * *

Pulling on my shirt, I can't help a song entering my head.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

And I don't remember the rest of the lyrics.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

I hate when this happens.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

"YUFFIE, YOU DON'T LIVE HERE!"

… Not again. I crack the door to see a very 'happy' Tifa wearing a housecoat, her hands on her hips.

Maybe I'll just stay in here—"Cloud, come _here_."—or, I could just go into the living room.

"Yes, Tifa?" Kill me now.

She looks back at me, flames in her eyes. I'm going to die slowly. "Please explain to Yuffie that you are not dead."

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Floor. Yuffie clutches onto me, pulling at my shirt. Tearstained eyes stare into mine. "Thank _God_ you're okay."

Okay, I think it's time to get up.

"I thought that crazy serial killer psycho had gotten you!"

This girl needs to go on a diet. "Yuffie, I'm fine. Now _will_ you get OFF?"

She rolls off, a half-hearted laugh as an apology.

Sitting up, I can't help glaring at the stupid teenager. "Now what is this nonsense about a psychopath?"

Whimpering she stands up. "It's all over the news. Some poor blonde girl was killed—"

I'm just going to give up on anyone accepting that I am, in fact, a guy.

"—found her mutilated beyond reason."

Tifa shakes her head. "Yuffie, there's no reason to assume that was Cloud. Wouldn't you think I'd—"

"She was wearing a Little Bo Peep costume."

I can feel the blood freeze in my veins.

* * *

_/flashback/_

"Exactly why do I have to be Little Bo Peep?"

Jessie pauses from pulling-up her lamb-like skirt to glare at me. "Because you're the one who can fit into it… bitch."

Was I just called a bitch?

By a girl dressed as a kinky sheep?

_/end/_

* * *

"Well, our little Cloudy's just fine." 'Cloudy?' Tifa, how could you betray me so? "Which brings us to what _you_ were doing at that theatre last night, _Yuffie_… With a man that old."

She tilts her head. "What's wrong with him being old?"

Tifa looks heavenward. "You're free to fu—"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW" Yuffie has plunges her fingers into her ears. "That was my _father_, you sicko!"

I can't ever have a normal day.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

Damnit.

* * *

"_Spike, meet me at the bookshop down near that creepy graveyard." _ Stupid Zack. He has a car; I don't!

And I hate having to take the subway.

Porcupine head will die.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

"AI!"

Thunk.

I turn my head, and see a very red-faced blonde kicking an old man. "Watch out for perverts," I mumble.

… That's Elena.

Who makes a living flirting with dirty, old man.

And is currently assaulting a dirty, old man.

O—kay.

* * *

"It's like 5 billion degrees out here… Stupid Zack." I pull myself past the eerily, creepy cemetery. It's sunny out, yet, that graveyard always looks dark and dank.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

A movement draws my attention to the far edge of the cemetery. There's a man who's completely covered. He lifts his head, glaring at me with red eyes.

Vincent.

… I suppose he sort of fits here. "Although, how he can stand wearing a coat in this _heat_…."

"You don't want to see what's under his sleeves."

I jump a foot in the air, to see a business man. "Jesus! You scared the hell out of me!"

He laughs slightly, pushing his long mane of black hair—what's with the dot? Is it a mole? "Nasty scars under there."

"Oh." I shift the weight between my legs. "Why?" Not that I really care.

He looks towards the grave that Vincent is attending. "He had given his motorcycle jacket to his girlfriend, and they—"

"An accident?"

A bitter smile contorts his face. "An accident assumes no one was at fault."

I look out towards the gothic Vincent. He has settled beside the grave, and seems to be talking to it.

"She must have been really special."

I look back to my companion, only to find that he's disappeared.

Okay, that creepy.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt,  
too sexy for my shirt…_

GOD DAMNIT! I HATE THAT SONG!

* * *

… Holy shit there's a plot! _And I tend to give hints to readers who give me reviews—hint-hint, nudge, nudge._

Kameko Suigami gets a Vincent plushie for reviewing _(I know it's hard, but resist the urge to play 'doctor')._


	9. Zack and Books

Disclaimer: I am a poor college student living off ramen; obviously, I don't own Square-Enix or their (drool-worthy) games.

Notes: I managed to break my computer's adapter… So, I'm having internet withdrawal**  
**

* * *

**Mixed**   
**09: Zack and Books**

"CLOUD!"

Crashing onto the stone floor, I can't help cursing whoever gave this moron sugar.

"Where have you been? I was so worried that you'd ditch me!"

Pushing porcupine head up, I wonder how he managed to get out of kindergarten. Let alone high school. "Maybe if _someone_ bothered to pick me up this morning," I growl.

"I was busy!"

Raising an eyebrow, I force a stoic mask on my face. "Doing what precisely?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing slightly. "Trying to find a tea shop."

I tilt my head slightly. "Why? You hate tea."

"Well, you see…" He stands up a determined look on his face. "There comes a time in every man's life where he must accept all that has given him… God—or Satan, I'm not sure which—has blessed me with an angelic woman, therefore I must move forward to claim all that she is—"

Scratch the sugar.

This has to be mushrooms...

"—I must sally forth to her place of employment!"

Standing up, I brush invisible dust from my pants. "What would that have to do with a tea shop?"

He rubs his temples, as if trying to explain to a child. "She _works_ at a tea shop… She just won't tell me which one!" Cluching his head, he groans. "She's a seductive siren, I tell you!"

Zack, you have absolutely _no _idea.

* * *

"Junk, junk, junk… Who the hell reads this stuff?" Zack waves a romance novel before my eyes. Those breasts are fake. 

"Housewives? How the fuck would I know?"

Leaning back, porcupine-head laughs. "Oh? _You've_ never read one?"

"Zack?"

"Yes?"

"You're an ass."

Turning himself about, he glances at his backside. "Yes, I do have a fine ass, don't I?"

I really should get on Prozac or something.

… Or maybe just find more sane friends.

Then again, I look relatively sane by comparison…

* * *

Please review. I can't do the puppy-dog pout very well using text. 

_Just out of curiosity, what are everyone's favorite pairings? Before anyone asks, no there won't be any romance (mostly because that devolves into sap)._

Daenis TooShy, Kameko Suigami, Aimme, Aya-chan, and Lord Divestre Croft get Zack plushies for reviewing

* * *

**Bonus Story Three**   
_**Moving**_

"Exactly—grr—do I have to help _you_ move _your_ stuff?"

"Because I have a date tonight, and Scar—Mother said I needed to get everything out by midnight."

"Which brings us back to," amber eyes glare, "why _I_ have to help?"

A gentle smile and a sparkle to the eye grace Aerith's features. "_Please_, Jessie?"

"Don't try that 'girl next door' crap with me." With a sharp kick, the box rolls down the stairs.

"—Jessie—!"

"Oh, it's just those sappy romance novels. They'll be fine… Biggs and Wedge show up with the truck yet?"


End file.
